Chapter 32

i'm flying on the plane in a few hours time.

how exhilarating!!!:-D

jakartaaaaaaaaaaaaa:-):-):-)

Till then,

Raf

Chapter 31

The weather today wasn't perfect at all.
But it doesnt stop me from having a super wonderful great time at Sentosa!!
i am really really exhausted.
like really exhausted to the core.
And due to that,my eyes are refusing to close..damn it..
just close please..i need some rest..
thank you guys,i really haf great fun with you guys today..
you all made my day:-)









Till then,
raf

Chapter 30

i think my blog is very mundane.

lack of pictures and too much word.

therefore,i took a picture of me and post it up.

nope its nt a picture.its a few pictures.hehe

just for fun:-)

Till then,

Raf

Chapter 29

damn i sux at estimating my own figure.How could i have sewn a smaller top?why do i think i'm that small?oh gosh...

perasan seh fana...:/

i feel like smacking my self in the head now.

Nice fabric..quite expensive ok..but then i blew it off..

why can't i learn to estimate my own figure..

damn,its my damn own size body..

O K A Y.....i have to calm down...

chill fana chill..

Till then,

Raf

my shout out

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=2711054&id=521747308i still have a few minutes before im too late..

Juni Syazwani

keje dekat esplanade minimart..hehe

See that picture above.

thats my beautiful "dunia akhirat" friend:-)..hehe

she's damn beautiful aint she?..

She turns 19 today..

HAPPY SWEET 19 DEAR JSYAZ WANI:-)

 i pray that u'll have a blast birthday celebration..

birthday present kau ditunda ok!..hehe..

i don't think you'll be even reading this..

but if you are,i might disappoint you tmr night..

Oh shit e clock strike midnight..damn,im late to post this entry..

aniway,yeah i might disappoint you..oh well, i'll still be your friend even if i disappoint you ok?

please awakkkkk...don't get mad at me!:-(

have fun tomorrow night alright...

Love ya:-)

ps* sorry wani,i took your picture without your permission from your facebook.i like this picture the best.:-)

Till then,

Raf

Chapter 28

i never thought i would be riding on an airplane any soon..but i will be in just a few days time!!yay!!im damn..T H R I L L E D.

Jakarta...here i come:-)

Till then,

Raf

my shout out

                   i want to wish a happy happy birthday to my dear friend,ZIMA!i hope you'll have a blast birthday on this very special day of yours.may you be blessed with happiness surrounding you.  Cheyyy dahh besarrr kak zima!:-)

To Zima: hang out with us veryyy soon eh miss..miss you:-)

Till then,

Raf

Chapter 27

i'm hypnotized with serenity when my eyes focus only you.

Till then,

Raf

Chapter 26

i'm so worn out from sewing.

please let me have a break from sewing for once...

Till then,

Raf

Chapter 25

I

FINALLY

SET

MY

EYES

ON

N E W M O O N

i was captivated by Jacob Black's alluring physique.

i was.

i really was.

damn...

He top the charts of being the sexiest man on earth now.

well,as far as i'm concern,he beats Edward Cullen.

i know,some may agree,some won't.

but Edward is only able to captivate me only with his sexy charisma

but his body..

erm..not that much appetite u see..

he doesn't have the body "appetite",

i would call it.

But jacob,

he has sexy charisma(not as sexy as edward though)

plus an appetizing body!

looking at jacob black,

it makes me "hungry"..

hehe..

ok..who wouldn't right?

oh gosh..

JACOB BLACK..

you are one amazing human being man..

:-)

PS* JB may be the hottest man on earth.

but right down in my heart,you're hotter than him.

no one can beat that.:-)

Till then,

Raf

Chapter 24

i am here
you are there
my soul takes u here with me
your's brought me there with you

Till then,
Raf

Chapter 23

">




i have been replaying this song over and over again in my head for the past few days..
damn im so addicted to it.
LIVE LONG JAY-Z!:-)
enjoy the video ok,because i did..:-)




Till then,
Raf

Chapter 22

ohh hurrayyy...i officially know how to change my blogskin.im so excited!!!!:-):-):-)

its our desire.

no one can stop it.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILADHA TO ALL MUSLIM BTW

Till then,

Raf

Chapter 21

its been a long time i've updated..

my tendency of hesitancy..

ohh i never fail..sighhh...

but then again,let's face it.

i'm bella swan what...hehe..

I WANT TO WATCH NEWMOON..I WANT TO WATCH NEWMOON...I WANT TO WATCH NEWMOON..I WANT TO WATCH NEWMOON..I WANT TO WATCH NEWMOON..

oh but actually i don't have to..because,i'm already in it..hehe.;-)

ok i don't feel like going on..im out..

till then,

raf

Chapter 20

i put on your jacket.
i inhale your scent
your scent that substitute your presence
your presence that embrace me tenderly
and suddenly
i miss you damn much...

Till then,
Raf

Chapter 19

No one likes to be stepped on.

im no exception.

No,i won't let myself be victimised.

hence,i'll take my stand and i'll show my fangs.

Till then,

raf

Chapter 18

i guess i should have known that birthdays are just not meant for me.

oh today was my birthday?ahh i see..

i wish i dont have any birthdays at all.

aniway,thank you to everyone who had wished me.it was sweet of you guys to even remember my birthday.:-)

Till then,

Raf

chapter 17

errm..i turned a year older a moment ago.







till then,
Raf

Chapter 16

i found some old pictures,

not many,only 3 ..hehe

and hey,i am the photographers to the above pictures ok,

i do not copyright and paste it here.

if i do,i'll acknowledge.

i have always been interested in photography,

eversince my stepdad bought me a dslr 2 yrs ago on my 18th birthday.

but i never believed in myself.

thats why i hardly take out my camera and snap it around.

but today,i found pictures that i feel proud about.

how come i never realised it when i took it?

not that im being cocky..

im just being very pleased about my work..

please appreciate..:-)

Aniway,those pictures were taken in 2007,at botanical garden.

feel free to dislike it.

feel free to disagree w me that i find my pictures are beautiful.

hehe..

feel free to criticize..

but i like my pictures!hehe..

i know im being tak tau malu..tapi tkpe ah.:-)

Till then,

Raf

my belated shout out

remember those times?;-)

it's a little too late to post my shout out to my dearest buddy shermaine,but its better late than never right..

To my dearest shermaine,
happy belated 20th borthday to you.oh but atleast i did text you on the actual day.aniway,i hope i could have spent time with you on that day,but sadly we didnt even see each other in school..before october comes,you are one year older than me now..haha..you have to act like a 20yrs old lady ok.cut down on your smoking,which i dont think is possible at e moment.hehe..i hope u had a blast birthday on e 9th..
by the way,i miss you man.it's been a long time since we spend time like we always did during foundation.and i hope we can go lunch together after fasting month.
i really do ok..so don't forget pleaseeeeeeeeeee...
lastly..
i know we are no longer classmates,but let's not drift apart ok.do keep in touch and jangan action ok!hahha..don't forget me most importantly..:-)
i guess that's it then.see you in school ok.



PS:foundation life would have been dead without you man.thanks for not entering lasalle one year before



(oh i forgot to mention that shermaine's birthday falls on the 9th september:-))

Till then,
raf

Chapter 15

infuriation caused by emotions that dominates the mind.

i hate to be overcomed by my on and off mood swings.

how do i scrub those unnecessary sentiments off me and let it go away?

dear god,please tell me how?do you hear me?

i know that I am the only person can help myself.who else right.?

but i need YOU to guide me through it,to strengthened my soul and to have faith in me.

Love doesnt hesitate..

love doesnt hold back.

its neither an actor nor an actress.

it doesnt change.

it stays the same way as it as the first time.

love doesnt just say but it needs to be expressed.

expressed willingly and sincerely.

Most importantly,it doesnt fade.

it goes through rollercoaster rides 

but still survived and 

only grows stronger in the end.

"take your notebook and NOTE it down."

Till then,

Raf

chapter 14

oh i had fun playing fire crackers..:-)

Till then,

Raf

Chapter 13

Oh..life is indeed beautiful at the moment. It's the period of happiness and peacefulness.

but who would ever know what's going to happen in the next few weeks,few days,few hours or even few minutes..it might just overturn and nightmare might just take over my life.oh god please don't let it happen to me..please don't..i've had my share of nightmares alright and it's time for my sweetdreams to possess my real life because i think i right damn well deserve it.:-)

just keep on holding my hands:-)

Till then,

Raf

Chapter 12

can i say that this is the most delighting week of the year 2009?of course there's other good things that happened this year too..but nothing can beat love,u see.and i bet thousands of people are agreeing with me on that.i used to think that it would never come to me or maybe i was too scared to hope.but it did.It didn't come to me.In fact it came back to me.im glad and am grateful it had because that's e only thing that completes my life now.you complete my life.And only god knows i feel right now. right god?

a day never to forget.10 August 2009..oh it falls on the year 2009 huh?so i guess 2009 is not a bad year afterall. it was only a bad start and i can forsee that it's going to be a happy ending for 2009:-)aniway,10 August was my sweetheart's birthday.HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY SWEETHEART<3

you know i love you:-)

Till then,

Raf

Chapter 11

THE BEGINNING OF A NEW CHAPTER OR THE OLD CHAPTER?

she just can't help it but smile

she just can't stop it but to think

:-):-):-):-):-):-)

Till then,

raf

my shout out

oh look how vain we are..hehe

UR A YEAR OLDER THAN LAST YEAR AWAKKK:-)

my dearest friend just turned 19 when e clock strike midnight just now.oh what a great surprised birthday party earlier on..it was really sweet of the girls to set up the surprise for him.Most importantly,i can see how touched he was upon arriving at his doorstep when everyone started to scream the "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!" to him..i was very sure he did enjoyed the surprise party and of course the gifts his girlfriends gave him.truly he did.:-)

Dear awak,

yes i had wished a birthday wish to you through text n also facebook.hehe..but of course i want to say it again to you.here.i mean here,in my own blog.oh it sounds nice to know i have a blog.hehe.aniway,i want to wish  a super super super SUPERB 19th birthday to you:-)..

what does that mean?you are a year older and that means you are growing into a man.macam abang2 gitu ah..hehe.but i still like your childishness though.you are my jibek and i am your nome..hehehhe...

i hope for the best for you in life. and i want you to be always happy.

Till then,

Raf

Chapter 10:-)

Have you ever felt relieved that you finally become the champion  in a waiting competition?Like you just have to wait as long as you can just to win.And the winner who waits e longest,win..i felt that a moment ago.Like the time has finally come for me to stop waiting and enjoy my winning.The feelings of "oh wow its finally overrrr!!"..phewww...u know what i mean?everyone must have atleast gone through it once..n understand how i feel right at this very moment.some says that the prize that im going after is not even worth it.and some give me their fullest support in me winning this prize.The prize of being answered what was being questioned all this while.Like what i told nuala once..

"follow your heart,not your mind.for your mind is always fickle."

Im applying it to myself now.im following my heart and because of my patient n faith, i won today..and only god knows how i feel.:-)

Thank you god for answering to my prayer. i knew u were always fair afterall.where there's bad times,there's surely to be the good times.and i think my good times are coming back.i had enough of my bad times man.

But then again,i can't be too gratified.i can just hope for the best.

 "it has only been you..no one else."

Till then,

Raf

chapter 9

1st day of school..

it was fun...

it was boring..

it was ok...

its jus like normal 1st day of schools...

oh im in fashion huh?oh gosh..how am i going to survive in it...

god pleas help me...

Till then,

raf

my thoughts...

ohhyoudontknowhowlongivemissedyou

Till then,

Raf

Chapter 8

Freedom's just another word for nothing to lose

i agree,n therefore i lost nothing:-)

the song she's outta my life by michael jackson kept playing in my mind.especially the part where "she's outta my life........"

haha.

i was at the esplanade bay where they had live bands playing (i have no idea what the place is called..hehe).

With nuala,shikin and my lil cuzzy,we were waiting for the fireworks.but before the foreworks even started,we were entertained by a live band by the bay.

And fortunately,they were singing to all Micheal Jackson's songs and i tell you,they were really fantastic.They were just borned as performers because not only i,but the rest of the people who were there were really entertained.

When the male singer started to sing the song  She outta my life,

my most attention was paid on him.

the song or rather the singer that captured my heart n stole my attention.

his sexy alluring voice that heartwarmingly sang that song melodiciously.

oh gosh,i couldn't even for one second took my eyes of him.

but of course i can't.he was singing the song right.

people should be focusing on him right?like how i was.

deeply focused.

oh nevermind.whatever it is,he's such a super talented hot singer:-)

i wish i could listen to him sing every single day..

I'm glad at how my day went today.i love spending time with the girls.

they always makes my day:-)

ohh when can i ever get to fly kite???

Till then,

Raf

Chapter 7

I NEED A LONGER BREAK!

oh school is starting real soon..and i'm not even ready for it. -____-

i don't like my timetable.

it seems that when times i thought i couldn't make it,i did

and when times i thought i can make it,i didn't

Aniway, a book that i had been reading during my journeys in e bus and mrt have been wonderful to read. A book about a woman who was left by her husband on the day her daughter was born..reason being,he's having an affair with another woman.oh gosh,can somebody tell me he's a F****ed up jerk!but no one needs to tell me that actually..

i feel for her.i really do.

Somehow i feel aprreciated being able to write here.i feel relieved that there's somewhere if not someone for me to let it out to.i used to love telling  stories that i have just read from a book to someone whom i know hates listening.Maybe the stories were just plain boring which i thought was far from it or maybe i was jus a bad story teller.haha.i always looked forward to telling him just to have his attention but ended up getting frustrated because my story wasn't being listened to with proper attention.He did made an effort to listen though but i guess he was just not interested u see.silly aren't i? pity me,pity him too.i should have let the book do the talking itself.but sadly he wasn't interested in reading at all.so who was to blame?no one.i still thanked him for his effort.thank you.

im yearning to kite fly..someone fly kite with me,will you??

Till then,

Raf

my shout out

oh gosh..im a lil late i guess..its past midnight now and i have a birthday wish for 2 of my dear friends.

My 2 friends jus turned 18.

 HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO FARIZ J AND TASYATTATATATA...

U GUYS R FINALLY 18,LEGAL BABESS..HEHEHE

to Fariz J..

  U CAN FINALLY GO CLUB!hehehe

to tasyatata..

  AWAKK CAN FINALLY GO SHEESHAING LEGALLY!!!!hehehe

Till then,

Raf

        

Chapter 6

At times i got too much things to update.but i forgot what.

and at times i want to update but yet i have no idea what to update on..haha

Aniwei,time has finally passed now.

1st thing first..im glad im moving on to level 1. i didnt expect to pass after what had happened to me. But i did.:-)

today was such a great day. im finally done with my garments,though honestly i wasn't satisfied with my designs..my models had finally sashayed e runway.it's finally over...

" to see what wasn't coming,i was astounded "

      Till then,

      Raf

Chapter 5

"If you lose someone or something,
you feel a loss,
then after a while,u fill in the hole
in your life
and the hole gradually gets
smaller and smaller and
eventually goes away..
There's a point to the pain.
There's a reason and a direction"


- Marian Keyes , watermelon


I was reading a book by Marian Keyes titled Watermelon..And i came across a short paragraph above. I truly believed those words are true . When i read it, i somehow feel like i was a reading my life. Im still not done reading it though.Im curious on how the story ends.:-)



And oh,i watched a dvd during work earlier on.i know watching movie while working..how great:-)hehe..aniwei,it was a malay love story called Cintaku forever.It wasnt a mind blowing movie but still it was nice to watch.

Ok here's the thing that i don't understand. When two people are madly in love with each other, they spend 24hrs being together. They stick to each other like a superglue. But when out of the blue, the guy for example found out he was contracted with an ill fated disease and is of course dying, he simply stopped seeing her and tries hard to avoid her. What the hell is wrong with him?and why be that stupid?
Yes i know, intentions are meant well for her so that moving on with life after he died will be made easier. Easier said than done huh.
does he know that he's being the most selfish asshole by doing that?
does he know that he's torturing her by avoiding?
Well it doesnt only apply to the movie i have watched.It applies to other movies that has similar storyline and also real life situations.
Think.
Think hard.
Think again.
There's a reason why his life had to be that way. God didnt take his life right away. Instead he replace it with an ill fated illness so that he's still spared with some time to live.
some time to live.
And what is that time for?
to be in grief and cry your hearts till u die?
To torture yourself till death comes to you?
to stop giving yourself chance to love and be loved?
even for that short period of time..?
oh thats bullshit..
He should have spent those time fruitfully with his loved ones.
He shouldn't avoid her, in fact he should love her more
because he might not be able to love her after his death.

He probably would regret it after he died.

Unlike my all time favourite movie, P.S i love you.

Gerry was dying..but holly wasn't.

Gerry didnt run away from Holly.

In fact, he allowed holly to take care of him during his last bits of living days.

She was by his side till he let out his last breathe.

That's how i think we all should live our life.

face it,accept it,n go through it.

even if time is running out.

aniway,for anyone who have yet to catch the movie PS i love you,

it's never to late do so.

it's a movie worth watching.

i know it's kinda outdated.

but who cares?a great movie will always b a great movie even when time changes and years passed.

(***this post was suppose to b post last 2weeks:-)..hehe...***)

         Till then,

         Raf

Chapter 4

 Ooo..i just got a new cell phone.. how cool:-D

I know i don't have the right

 to be mad at you

but at times i just wonder

why must it be me?

but then, i collected m

y thoughts

and i know u got a better plan for me...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I received a love letter from a friend recently. To be exact, it's a friendship letter from my dear friend, tasya..aka baby kecoh manje..:-)hehe..

she's really cute and bubbly.i really love her.

Dear Tasya,

  i really wanna thank you for that sweet letter u gave me. It may seem jus a plain letter but it means alot to me u know. 

i'm glad we know each other and i thank god we became friends:-)

ily tasya

   Till Then,

Raf

Chapter 3-part(2)

 

A reason to live for...

      i always believe that anything and everything that happened to every individual beings, it happened for a reason. We might never figure out the concrete reason to why it happened instantly. But all we could do is to accept with courage and string along where it heads us to. For all we know, the answers will come knocking on our door. And only then will we be grateful to HIM for causing those setbacks  which we thought had ruined our lives to happen. Well it hadn't, for it had only surpassed our past instead.

      Believing somehow strengthened our faith. 

and Faith brings us closer to our inner voice that will eventually perceived those reasons..

      i have found out my reasons and i am more than glad that what happened to me,had actually happened. i smile everyday because smiling calms me down and of course its a good deed too:-)

I'll smile to you to even if you don't:-)

Im off to work now:-)

Till then,

raf

Chapter 3- part 1

I LOVE TO LISTEN YOU KNOW:-)

we all shouldn't bottle up our feelings.Let it out.Write it out. Say it out.Blast it out.In any way,you shouldnt torture your soul. see,im writing now.i would prefer to type it out rather than letting my mouth do the job .im letting my soul be peaceful. But even if i don't write it out,i'll tell a stranger. I did that a few times n i hope those strangers, would have forgotten what i had said to them by now..haha,silly isn't it?but atleast a stranger listen without having to comment about anything because they know nothing about me. The most important thing is that i let it off my chest and i never felt better.:-)
So my dear friend, and you know who you are.You are a great friend,and it saddens me to see you trying hard to be happy when you are not. I know what you are going through and i know how it sux to be in your position now. It's not easy to get out now but all u can do is be really strong and of course do not bottle it up. I'm always here if you need a listening ear. I love to listen you know.:-)


Till then,
raf

Chapter Two

i've finally watched TRANSFORMERS..:-D
and im having a huge crush on Shia..he's jus adorable.


your dainty
your phrases are funny
your lame jokes are silly
but u fixed me a smiley

Thank you aleep:-)



Till then.
Raf

Chapter one

I had contained.

And now i shall acquaint.

till then,

raf